Finding Humor

They say laughter is the best medicine.  Thankfully, I grew up in a home where laughter was heard often.  Anyone who knows my dad, knows he has a quick wit and a great sense of humor.  There were times as a kid where I wasn’t sure if my dad was serious or joking.  We even found humor in things that others might not.  In fact, my mom used to say, “I had to laugh to keep from crying.”

The ability to find humor, even in difficult situations and circumstances was helpful “medicine” as we dealt with the challenges brought on by my mom’s health issues and dementia.  One such situation was when my sister and I were at the ER with my mom.  They were going over test results and one of them said she had marijuana in her system.  My mom did not even drink, much less smoke pot.  We knew it was a mistake, but it also became a joke.  My mom even patted her stomach, and said, “Here’s my pot right here.”  With all three of us hysterically laughing, I’m sure the medical staff was even more convinced that there had been no mistake and that we probably all were “under the influence.”

When my mom was in skilled nursing, there was always something to “laugh about to keep from crying.”  Like how competitive my mom became with Bingo.  She had particular cards she had to get, and she wanted to arrive a good twenty minutes early to make sure the “hesh” (mom wasn’t sure if it was a man or a woman) didn’t get HER cards.  We also found humor in how my once extremely patient mom would talk about how that lady who yelled down the hall just needed to “shut up!”   And, when we left the facility after a visit, my mom had a routine of waiting in the lobby and watching us leave.  She wanted us to pull up in front and wave at her.  I guess my sister-in-law forgot once, and we all never heard the end of it.  She would remind us every time to pull up and wave, and when I said I would try, she would say, “Well, you forgot last time.”  Again, we had to laugh over it.

Seeing my mom suffering from dementia was not funny, but, finding humor where we could, helped us all cope better with the sadness. It was a blessing that she did not lose her sense of humor despite everything else she lost, and she was usually laughing right with us.  As we grieve losing her, remembering and laughing again over what was funny, is good medicine.